Grounded
by TheOwl'sQuill
Summary: Earthbenders were never meant to live on mountains.


**This story takes place in the years before Aang wakes up an visits the Northern Air Temple. **

* * *

"I'm surprised the house is so big, you're usually such a minimalist," I heard my mother say from the other room.

"Well," I could hear my aunt shuffling through her few remaining belongings to put away, "it's not very often a talented young earth bender has the opportunity and space to build a house from scratch. You know how Bae gets when he's feeling artistic."

"My son does have a love of all things grand, but still four bedrooms? Your old house was traditional with only one room."

"Oh come, sister dear, four rooms isn't that many. My husband and I will need our own room since we won't be just the two of us anymore, and with Bae and Maxiang too old to share a room that leave one guest room for anyone that comes down from the mountain."

_ Thump_. Uh oh, here we go.

"We've already been through this Jae! Bae is staying with you because the village needs him down here, but Maxiang is needed up there with her family!"

"Yes, we have been through this and I told you before, it isn't a matter of where they're needed! For an earthbender to be able to live at such high altitudes they had to grow up there! Maxiang is just too old!"

Even in the other room I could feel the floor rumbling beneath my feet as their argument grew more heated. I heard a cupboard door slam.

"You've always done this! You think I don't know anything about my own children because I'm not an earthbender like you!"

"Hitomi, don't be ridiculous-!"

"No, not this time! Thank you for training my children and for taking in Bae until the village doesn't need him and he can move up to the temple, but my daughter is staying with me. Maxiang! We're leaving!"

I sighed and finally moved out into the kitchen. My mother had already left to wait for me outside and I could see my aunt grinding her teeth. When she saw me she smiled sadly and wrapped me in a hug.

"Be careful dear, make sure you see the healer is you feel anything strange. Don't suffer until you've gone mad. Your mother will understand even if it takes time."

When the elders had made the decision to move up to the temple there was a lot of hesitation. Many of the villagers thought that it would be bad luck to live in a place that once held so much death, and a lot of families didn't like the idea of changing their way of life so drastically. After nearly a month on the road, tired, hungry, hopeless, village burnt to the ground, the Elders had almost won over all the villagers… until our healer stepped forward. He warned that the older earthbenders' chi was too connected to the earth and that only the child earthbenders, with their still developing connections, would be able to adapt to the altitude over time. He wove tales of constant vertigo, of sanity slowly slipping away until earthbenders have to be carried off the mountains. He spoke of fading slowly away, and death.

When earthbenders began to resist the elder's plan to live in the abandoned air temple the more reluctant villagers began to side with them, and we finally came to an agreement. Those who didn't want to live on the mountain would use the earthbenders to construct their own town at it's base, and everyone else would move on.

My mother had automatically assumed that Bae and I would move into the temple with her and our siblings, but Bae had refused. He said that he would stay with Aunt Jae and live in the town, help build it, mother thinks he's being dramatic. She thinks he won't stay on the ground.

"Maxiang!" I turned to see Bae running towards me. He threw his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. "I hope you know what you're doing." I could feel his breath on the top of my head.

I swallowed hard and willed my hands no to shake. "Me too."

He pushed me back to arms length but kept his hands placed firmly on my shoulders. "This will be the first time, since the day we were born, that we'll be apart." He relinquished his hold with one hand to bring it to my face and I let myself lean into it.

"Mother needs me," I whispered. "She can't lose us both."

"She'll have the others," I could feel his body tense.

"You know it's not the same." I knew my smile was sad, I knew there were tears beginning to well in my eye, but I chose to ignore them. My brother had never been rash or hot tempered, neither of us ever were, but he was… bitter. Bitter towards father for dying a soldier, bitter towards mother for ignoring our bending, bitter towards mother for hating Aunt Jae, bitter towards mother for re-marrying, bitter towards the man for joining the army, bitter towards mother for not accepting the man's death, bitter towards mother for making us choose now, bitter. I knew he would never understand my wanting to stay with her.

"If anything happens," he whispered, leaning his forehead against mine, "I'll come get you off that mountain, whether mother likes it or not."

I smiled and stared into dark eyes identical to my own, "I know."

"Come on Maxang! We have to start up the mountain now or we'll never make it to the temple before dark!"

I gave my brother a quick peck on the cheek and smiled one more time before running off after mother. I couldn't say goodbye. It didn't feel like goodbye.

"Don't look so down Maxang," mother reassured when I caught up. "He'll be moving up to the temple in no time." Oh mother, you'll never realize just how wrong you are.

* * *

I wasn't really worried when the altitude sickness first hit. Children weren't really bothered by it, but older residence suffered a rather unpleasant first week until they adjusted. Benders were hit the worst. Heart pounding so hard it felt like it was going to explode, lungs straining for air, dizzy, lightheaded, nauseous, most of the earthbenders that had wanted to try living in the temple gave up by the second day. Any earthbender over the age of 30 was gone by the end of the third. The youngest child benders got over the altitude sickness a day after that.

"Did you hear? Lee left for the village today!" and just like, by the end of the first week, I was the last earthbender over the age of 12 still living in the temple. At first I was assigned to help out the builders, but when the altitude sickness barely lessened I was assigned as official village baby sitter.

After that first week the sickness had become bearable. My heartbeat and breathing were still unsteady at best, but at least the pounding in my head had eased, but the day I first fainted was the day I lost the feeling of being grounded.

I noticed it as soon as I woke up that morning: a strange floating feeling, an inability to gain my balance. It was like trying to walk on water, like I couldn't feel the ground even though my feet were planted firmly on the stone floor. I became clumsy, never really knowing where my feet were. The worst part was when I lost focus. It was like my mind just stopped working. When it wasn't impossible to form a complete sentence it was like trying to run through mud. It was hard to eat, hard to sleep, and the feeling of my pounding heart, heaving lungs, floating feet, and the world spinning spinning spinning around me while my sluggish mind fought to catch up would build and build until I couldn't stand it any longer. I would close my eyes, brace my hands on the walls, sit down, stand up, anything, ANYTHING to make it stop, but it would just keep building until it-became-too-much, and then I would fall. The ground would cave underneath me, sounds muffled, my vision would go dark, and everything would stop in a sudden deafening stillness. Fainted.

I kept it all from my mother for as long as I could, but when the attacks and fainting had increased to once a day, sometimes twice a day, it was impossible for even my mother not to notice. When she finally took me to the healer I knew, _knew,_ that if he said the reason behind my illness was my bending she wouldn't accept it. I was surprised at just how right I was.

"You stupid man! All of you so obsessed with bending as if it makes them a different species! Now figure out what is wrong with my daughter, and don't you dare tell me again it's because she can throw rocks!"

The healer had looked at my mother with hard, blank eyes. "If you would step out for a moment then please ma'am I'll take another look at Maxiang."

As soon as she had left the room he sighed and buried his head in his hands. "I don't know how you do it, why you would even chosen to come up the mountain instead of stay on the ground with Bae."

I shrugged, "She may be stubborn, but she doesn't deserve to take care of four children by herself. Especially when the littlest started to move pebbles. I couldn't leave her." I knew I was speaking slow. It was so hard for me too keep up with long or fast conversations, my mind just couldn't produce the sentences that fast.

"Maxiang," he sat on the stool next to the cot and took my hand, his fingers automatically finding my pulse, "your mother, your aunt, Bae, the children, you're not helping any of them if you're dead."

"Dead?" I couldn't help the small gasp as I felt an attack starting to set it. "Don't you think that's a bit of an exaggera-"

"No, it's not an exaggeration at all." I could hear him forcing his voice to stay calm and I knew he could feel my pulse jumping and pounding beneath his fingers. "Maybe it'll take some time, weeks, months, maybe you'll go crazy first, but you will slip away."

He ducked down to look at my face which I'm sure had gone pale and my pupils wide. He grabbed my chin and said… something. Asking if I was okay? A strange knowing look was on his face, could he tell, could he see it? See what? I hope, pray, pray, pray…. pray for what? Mother, I pray that mother doesn't-. Come back from where?

"Maxiang! You need to calm down!"

Calm down? I was- no, not calm. My lungs were heaving. How could I?

I could feel him pushing me down, but no. No. I needed to get up. I needed the ground. I pushed back against his hands.

"Please, floor." And then I was scooped up. Scooped? Was I that small? And set on the floor against the wall. He kept talking, I'm sure I knew, I could hear him, muffled, blurred, but I stopped trying to listen, couldn't listen, couldn't think. It all kept building, building, building. I curled in, covered my head. Waited.

I didn't know how long it was before the blankness took over, didn't know how long it was before I woke up back on the cot in the healers tent.

"Your mother came in after you were out. I'm sorry, but I had to tell her you had another attack. She said to send you home when you were ready."

I nodded and took the cup of fruit juice he handed me.

"You didn't tell me the attacks came on so quickly." I hated the sad look in his eyes.

"They're not really attacks. There is no one point where it stops and starts again. It's how long before it becomes unbearable again, and I faint."

He laid a hand on either side of my head, turning it this way and that as he examined my eyes and ran his thumbs over my temples.

"I noticed you seemed unhealthy and you've been speaking in shorter sentences, but I thought you were just fading. I didn't realize there were other side effects."

"It's like I'm floating all the time. My feet, my thoughts, it's like I can't focus anymore."

"Can you just not think of the words in your head or is it hard to understand people?" I frowned when I noticed he was speaking slower.

"It's…! I…!" I took a deep breath as my words scrambled themselves. "It's both. It's harder for me to think, but understanding people is getting more difficult."

He sighed and shook his head, "I hate to go against your wishes and the wishes of your mother, but the next time you get sent here I'm sending word to Bae and he, as acting head of your family, can decide what to do."

"But…!"

"No buts!" He cut me off.

* * *

It wasn't long after that that I stopped talking all together.

Between the strain of trying to form sentences in my head while at the same time follow conversations it all just became too much, so I stopped. Mother was furious and scared, but because she knew that the healer would only give her the same answer she blamed it on teenage rebellion and let me be.

It just continued to get worse from there. Already barely sleeping and eating I started to lose weight at an alarming rate. Some days I felt so weak I could barely even get out of bed. On the now very few occasions that I still felt well enough to babysit the children they made the mechanists son, barely more than a child himself, come with me.

Bae and I, being quite a few years older and the oldest children in a large family, were never really close to the boy. After just one babysitting job together I found the kid was smart and happy, plus his willingness to fill the empty space in our conversations was refreshing.

"I found some new murals of those gliders again!" Teo was telling me enthusiastically as we followed the small horde of children through the old temple. "Dad says when he's done checking if the library is still sturdy he'll let me look around. Maybe I can find some instructions on how to make them and how they work! Of course I would have to make some adjustments, theirs were probably powered by their bending. Oh! Maybe I could even make one that attached to my chair!"

I smiled and nodded, only really catching his excited tone and not the words themselves, while flicking out a hand and using a stray chunk of rubble to nudge a wayward child away from a hole in the floor. That was something that bothered me the most. Along with everything else my bending had been fading, too.

At first I hadn't noticed, but as my chi went more and more out of whack with my failing health I started to have trouble. Moving large objects left me exhausted, small, delicate tasks took more concentration than I had, and for some reason, not matter how large or small, I couldn't pull stone out of the earth itself. It was strange really, I tried everything Aunt Jae had ever taught: calling gently, or pulling stubbornly, but no matter what trying to separate a chunk of earth just left me staggering and feeling more disconnected than ever. So, this is what I was forced to resort to, flicking around moderate sized rubble that had already pulled itself away from the earth.

"Look over here!" one of the little earthbender girls called from up ahead. "I found something!"

The other children gathered around her and waited for me to go first. Ill or not, I was still one of the prodigious twins and they knew I was far more experienced with bending and the crumbling halls. The passageway led out to a huge room open to the outside on one wall. The walls were covered in scorched murals of flying bison and cloudless skies. There was a fountain and little ledges all around. As I scanned around the room to see if it was safe for the children my eyes settled on the back corner and I gasped In horror. I turned quickly to block the doorway and the children's curious eyes.

Piled there in the back corner were skeletons. Empty eye sockets as large as my head and scorched down to the bone, but the worst part was passed the protective ring of giants was the cluster of smaller skeletons. They burnt the damn bison nursery.

I couldn't breath, I think Teo told the children to run and get help between concerned tones directed at me. I was suddenly swamped by an attack, the symptoms coming on faster than they ever had before. My lungs were heaving, needing air, and I could feel the pounding of my heart interrupted by strange shutters. Shaking, my knees gave out and I think Teo pulled me towards his lap. I couldn't do this, I wasn't strong enough. The ground was spinning, spinning, spinning, and wouldn't stop. The world was blurring, black spots appearing in my vision but still nothing stopped. I could hear yelling, running feet, feel hands on me. Sounds muffled, the world was flashing white. The pounding interrupted by shutter, shutter, shutter, shutter, and the bison staring at me with hollow scorched eyes. Crushed, pushed into the ground like old bones turned to dust, the floor was cracking weakly, and shutter, shutter, shutter. Stop. Still. The floor caved in, there was nothing beneath my feet buy the black endless deep. No ground.

* * *

The world came back achingly slow. I could feel blankets beneath my back and smelled the herby, familiar scent of the healer's home.

"You're heart stopped for a moment."

I laughed, choked, strained, closer to a sob. "Because I'm dying." I knew, had known for awhile now. Every time another attack passed I lost myself a little more. Lost the feeling of being grounded.

"I sent word down to Bae. You've been out for two days, so he should be here soon." I nodded. "I'll tell your mother after the two of you leave. It will be easier that way."

As if on queue Bae appeared in the doorway and froze.

"Oh, Maxiang." That was all it took. I burst into tears. Sobs tearing through my body. I felt Bae's arms wrap around me and I clung to his neck. I felt myself being lifted, carried like a child, but I didn't even care, I just wanted off this mountain.

* * *

Aunt Jae already had our rooms ready when Bae and I reached her home. It took months, but I eventually recovered completely; however, unlike the other earthbenders I couldn't even go up the mountain for a day or the attacks would come back. Bae went back up the mountain to talk to our mother as soon as I had started to show signs of getting better. She still believed that it was just some sickness and was angry that we kept it from her when it became so severe, but she was still convinced Bae and I would come back when I was better. I never went back up the mountain, and mother never came back down.

It was only a few weeks after I was deemed "fully recovered" that we got the message. Official news that mother couldn't call her second husband "missing" anymore. Bae didn't want to go to the memorial. He and I had never been close to the father of our siblings, but I made him go anyway. Someone had to be there for Mom.

The memorial would be the last time Bar ever went back to the temple. Mother never forgave Aunt Jar for stealing us. Years passed and I watched the Avatar's Bison fly away from the temple flinching at the memories of charred bones that still haunted me. The war would end soon, but it was too late. It had already torn my family apart.


End file.
